Reader:

5 steps to regain control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions!

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Morning Minute 10.6.26

Who Is Your Anger Really Hurting? Five steps to regain control of your thoughts, emotions, and actions.

Decades ago, I kept mental notes of people who had “wronged me,” imagining how I might get even later.

There was just one problem.

My anger was hurting me. The other person often didn't even know I was angry.

Once I accepted responsibility for my anger, my relationships—and my outcomes—began to improve.

Anger is a natural response to a real or perceived threat, insult, frustration, or injustice.

Feeling anger isn't the problem. Allowing anger to control what we think, say, and do—is.

Scripture warns us what prolonged anger produces: bitterness, wrath, clamor, slander, and malice.

A friend once told me he had been angry with someone for 30 years. Wanting to rid himself of that burden, he approached the person apologizing for carrying the resentment.

The response surprised him.

The other person had no idea he was angry.

For 30 years, one person carried the burden while the other knew nothing about it.

So, how do we keep anger from controlling us?

1. IDENTIFY:​
Who—or what—are you angry about? You can't deal with an emotion you won't acknowledge.

2. CLARIFY:​
What actually happened? Separate the facts from what you believe or assume happened.

3. PAUSE:​
Give your emotions time to cool. Don't allow a temporary emotion to create a permanent consequence.

4. FORGIVE:​
Take your anger to God. Forgiveness doesn't mean what happened was acceptable. It means refusing to allow another person's actions to control yours.

5. LEARN:​
Ask yourself: What can this experience teach me? Commit not to treat someone else the way you were treated.

About 25 years ago, after successfully leading a dealership team, the owner dismissed me and replaced me with his son.

I was angry.

But I had learned what carrying anger could do to me. I chose to forgive him—not because what happened didn't matter, but because I didn't want my anger affecting me or the people I love.

Shortly afterward, another opportunity appeared—one I might never have recognized had I remained consumed by resentment.

We all experience anger. The question isn't whether we'll become angry.

The question is what we'll allow our anger to do next.

Today's Challenge:

Think of one person you're still angry with.

Ask yourself:

“Who is my anger really hurting?”

Then Identify. Clarify. Pause. Forgive. Learn.

Don't allow yesterday's anger to control today's thoughts, emotions, or actions—or tomorrow's opportunities.

Keep Learning! Keep Leading!

And remember: Information without transformation is wasted energy!

That is today's Morning Minute.

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References:

Ephesians 4:31-32;

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Proverbs 22: 24-25:

Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.

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Here are some recent Morning Minutes you may have missed with actionable ideas, useful instruction, and step-by-step methods to help you, your family, and/or your team to be more, do more, and achieve more.

​" Why Should Anyone Follow You?" How everyday behaviors create your credibility and your influence. Discover the behaviors that are learned and displayed by the best leaders. Then answer this question: "What am I consistently doing that gives people a reason to listen to and follow me?"

​"What Does Your Team Need From You?" Discover the 6 functions that develop people, improve performance, and create winning teams. Learn how that your function as a coach, a teacher, a teacher, an instigator, a disciplinarian, and organizer, and a mentor are critical to building a world-class team. Take the challenge to improve your leadership skills as you continue to develop your team!

​"Be The Change You Want to Create!" What if the biggest obstacle to your team's growth is the example they see every day? Learn the first step in team transformation by employing the T.A.S.T.E. leadership model. Answer 5 questions that will give you a starting point for transformation. Discover 2 successful examples of team transformation that you can model as you be the change you want to create.

​"You Made a Mistake - Now What?" What happens next is just as important as what just happened! Discover 3 examples of mistakes: one injured an employee; one damaged a team; & one disappointed customers and cost sales. Watch this short video to learn the 4 steps to handling mistakes and preventing them in the future.

​"Stop Trying to Transformation Everything at Once!" Changes are accomplished via small incremental improvements. Discover how you know when it is time for a transformation. Learn the six steps to create a successful transformation. And most importantly, become the transformation you asking others to make.

​"There OUGHTA Be a Law!" Laws cannot take the place of personal responsibility or self-discipline. Discover the symptoms, situations, and expectations that we encounter as we make decisions. Learn how that we have been given an example of how to take responsibility for the gifts and talents we have been given. Discover the the benefits of deciding what to do and having the self-discipline to do it.

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